I would like to state upfront that I absolutely love my children- both of them. I am so grateful to have them in my life, and even to be their mother. That being said...
I've mentioned that I dislike pregnancy, right? Hence, I try to hide the fact for as long as possible. Here I am, 5 1/2 months along, and there are many people who are just finding out that I'm pregnant. I've been having this conversation a lot lately:
Friend: Did I hear you're expecting?
Me: Yep.
Friend: Congratulations!
Me: Thanks.
It's nice. It's polite. I really appreciate the sentiment.
That being said...
Here's the conversation that happens in my head: (Warning- this may get a little crude.)
Friend: Did I hear you're expecting? Oh, dear, here comes the conversation again. Smile!
Me: Yep. I.e.: guess what I've been doing!
Friend: Congratulations! (At this point, the voice in my head gets very excited and sarcastically happy.) Congratulations? Oh- congratulations on the feeling sick every day for two months straight. Or- congratulations on the big belly and clothes that don't fit. Or- congratulations that in a few months, you'll be experiencing one of the most painful experiences known to man followed by at least 3 months of not getting to sleep through the night and having a little bundle of joy attached to an appendage for a year or so. Thanks... thanks for the congratulations. I don't understand it, but I'm grateful.
Me: Thanks. Congratulate me when the kid makes it to his tenth birthday.
P.S. I think I failed at making this post funny. It sounded so good in my head... stupid voices.
2 comments:
Yup... sounds about right. My favorite was when people would ask if I was just loving my pregnancy. My response was I'm starting to feel a little better(not always true) but lots of other things went through my head that I didn't say out loud, usually in a very sarcastic tone. Yes I think in sarcasm some times. I'm sure you could imagine some of my thoughts.
Three people I wanted to slap when I was pregnant:
1) the lady who asked me "Are you due really soon?" when I was only 5 months along.
2) the lady who asked me, (on Mother's Day, which also happened to be my due day) "When are you due? Oh, today? I had my first baby on Mother's Day." Well, I hadn't had so much as a Braxton-Hicks contraction and I didn't appreciate that, especially the tone I got of "I'm so lucky. Too bad you aren't!"
3) My first ob-gyn doctor, all the time, because he treated me like an idiot. Was it my fault he spoke in a heavy accent and I couldn't understand him half the time.
WV: bushn--a pair of binoculars that is missing its ell.
(bushnell)
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