Sunday, June 20, 2010

Gruesome Deaths

A few nights ago, I was in a wierd mood. And there was a fly trapped in my bathroom with me. And we don't have a fly swatter. He was a big sucker, too. Didn't fly very fast. So, I got out my hair spray. Every time I could get close to him, I squirted him a couple times. Sure enough, after several squirts, he landed to clean himself off. While he was down, I squirted him some more. Pretty soon he couldn't fly at all. And then I squished him with my shoe.

And then last night, there was a spider in my bathroom. He looked dangerous, and so I decided I better kill him too. He was a fast mover, so I pulled a long strip of toilet paper out and laid it against the wall. As per my brilliant master plan, the spider unsuspectingly crawled onto the toilet paper, which I hurriedly carried over to the toilet and dropped it in. I was afraid that he would crawl all the way up to my hand, but fortunately he didn't move quite that fast; my toilet paper was really long. I watched as the water soaked through the paper and highlighted the spider's silhouettte from underneath. But then, it turns out that the spider was not really a spider after all. I'm pretty sure he was a demon. He started crawling, on the underside of the soaked toilet paper. At this point I was fascinated and kept waiting for him to drown. He didn't. He stopped a couple of times, but after about a minute underwater, the demon spider made his way out from underneath the toilet paper and onto the top of it. From there he made a beeline for the side of the toilet bowl and began to crawl up it. Yeah, then I was really freaked out. I'm pretty sure it was the devil in disguise. So I flushed him. And then I was afraid that, because he was a demon spider, he might make his way out of the pipes and through the toilet and into my bedroom to take his revenge. Hopefully the sewers are a labyrinth of pipes that he'll get lost in and never find his way back out. Or maybe he'll finally die.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Quick Anecdote

When I am in the kitchen cooking or cleaning, my mind naturally settles on the topic of Will Smith. I'm not fantasizing or anything; I usually think about I Am Legend, which I hated. Occasionally I think of Fresh Prince, Wild Wild West, or an interview I saw with him and his wife and son. But almost every time I get involved in a kitchen project, there he is in my head. Go figure.

Monday, June 7, 2010


Last weekend marked a new phase in our marriage. Thursday night, for the first time in over two years, Ryan and I spent the night apart.

We needed to go up to Idaho to help out with Ryan's cousin's wedding. I was needed, and could go, earlier than Ryan could. We fought it. We didn't want to sleep apart. But, when we really stepped back and looked at the situation, it worked best to have me go up earlier. So I did.

It was sad. I got to sleep out in the trailer by myself, which was kinda cool, but I knew I'd have a hard time sleeping, so I stayed up until I was exhausted. When I finally went to bed after midnight, I tossed and turned in bed for two hours before I was able to sleep. Ryan had an equally hard time sleeping here at home.

He finally arrived at 10 o'clock Friday night, and it was so wonderful to see him! We watched a movie that night just so we could cuddle on the couch. And we both slept well that night.

We've done it once and survived. But I don't want it to be a regular occurance; I like my husband!