A few nights ago, I was in a wierd mood. And there was a fly trapped in my bathroom with me. And we don't have a fly swatter. He was a big sucker, too. Didn't fly very fast. So, I got out my hair spray. Every time I could get close to him, I squirted him a couple times. Sure enough, after several squirts, he landed to clean himself off. While he was down, I squirted him some more. Pretty soon he couldn't fly at all. And then I squished him with my shoe.
And then last night, there was a spider in my bathroom. He looked dangerous, and so I decided I better kill him too. He was a fast mover, so I pulled a long strip of toilet paper out and laid it against the wall. As per my brilliant master plan, the spider unsuspectingly crawled onto the toilet paper, which I hurriedly carried over to the toilet and dropped it in. I was afraid that he would crawl all the way up to my hand, but fortunately he didn't move quite that fast; my toilet paper was really long. I watched as the water soaked through the paper and highlighted the spider's silhouettte from underneath. But then, it turns out that the spider was not really a spider after all. I'm pretty sure he was a demon. He started crawling, on the underside of the soaked toilet paper. At this point I was fascinated and kept waiting for him to drown. He didn't. He stopped a couple of times, but after about a minute underwater, the demon spider made his way out from underneath the toilet paper and onto the top of it. From there he made a beeline for the side of the toilet bowl and began to crawl up it. Yeah, then I was really freaked out. I'm pretty sure it was the devil in disguise. So I flushed him. And then I was afraid that, because he was a demon spider, he might make his way out of the pipes and through the toilet and into my bedroom to take his revenge. Hopefully the sewers are a labyrinth of pipes that he'll get lost in and never find his way back out. Or maybe he'll finally die.
4 comments:
Of all the stories to tell...I like them though :)
You are so funny! Hairspray? If you think that spider was a demon, try drowning a yellow-jacket! I don't mean the Cali kind either; the ones here are more of a wasp/hornet looking think and terrify me.
I usually kind of squish up the toilet paper, grab the spider in a pinch, and rush to the toilet. At least, that's what I do when Anthony is not around to scream for! And did I mention the huge deep breath for courage I take first?
WV: gorohmai- demon spider's name!
Eww! I hate killing spiders! I usually flush them too, and I've never had one come back up, so hopefully that means they can't...! Anyway, thanks for the offer to trade a bike for Tucker! We actually already got him one. :) Sorry! But thanks for thinking of us!
LOL, you are so funny! Love your stories. And I wouldn't have watched the spider he would have been flushed immediately!!!!!
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