Baby Talk

First for the cuteness:  A few nights ago I was laying down and started talking to my baby.  I told her about myself, and about Ryan, and about some of the good things in this world, and about what it means to be a fairy princess.  I talked for several minutes, and, when I stopped, she kicked me.  I laughed and started talking again, and, again, when I stopped, she kicked me.  This happened four or five times, and finally I called Ryan in, told him what was happening, and asked him to talk to her.  Same thing.  He put his hand on my belly and could feel her kicking whenever one of us stopped talking.  It was so cute!  "Hey!  Keep talking!" she seemed to be saying.  "I like hearing your voice."  I'll bet she's smart.  I'm excited to meet her for real.

And now for the more serious stuff that's been on my mind for the last few days:  Tuesday was my Doctor's appointment.  After last month's post about liking my doctor, I've been doing a little bit of research and trying to figure out what type of things I want in a doctor.  I intended to go ask him about some of these issues before push came to shove (literally) and he was doing things that I didn't necessarily want done in the delivery room.  I quite naturally had questions about inducing labor, episiotomies, and his philosophies in general.

The appointment took 2 hours.  Granted, he was off delivering babies, and I opted to wait for him, but that's a long time to wait to interrogate your doctor.  :)  He did his quick little checkup, and then I asked him questions.  His basic philosophies are these:

After being one week overdue, we will talk about the dangers of your baby being stillborn and growing too big.  (Read: I'll put pressure on you to induce labor.)  After two weeks, if you still don't want to induce, then we will part ways and you'll have to find another doctor.

An episiotomy?  If you need one, you'll get one.  Chances are you'll get one because it's your first baby.  

And by the way, don't let other people's bad experiences determine what you do and don't do. I see the mistakes made by midwives and those who don't have the medical training, and it's sad. It really is.  Stick with me.  Everything will be okay if you stick with me.

I asked him about not having an episiotomy if I didn't want one.  He painted horrific pictures for me.  I went home and did research and discovered that those horrific pictures don't occur in 90% of cases.  Throughout the interview, I felt that he was (probably unintentionally) trying to bully and scare me into putting myself unquestioningly into his care.  He wants to cut me!  Ew!  I came home quite upset and wanting to be completely put under for the entire experience.  (For those of you who don't know, I really don't like the idea of being put under.  I had local anesthesia to get my wisdom teeth taken out, thank you very much!)  And I really don't want to be put under, but neither do I want to put myself in the care of a doctor who is so eager to tear me up and who doesn't seem to really care what I want for this birth.  But I'm afraid that all doctors will have the same sort of mentalities.  Really, my two biggest issues are the inducement and episiotomy things, and it seems like the attitudes he held are pretty widespread.

At this point, I want to check into seeing if their are midwives who deliver at the hospital.  (I would like to be there just in case something goes wrong.)  Or, perhaps there is a general practitioner somewhere around who would be more relaxed and more willing to work with me.  Regardless, I am the one paying for this care, and for the insurance, and I have the right to stick up for myself and what I want from this experience, right?  Even though it flies in the face of all medical expertise, at least I am taking responsibility for what happens to me in that terrifying room.  Both my mom and my mother-in-law support me in this, but it's still weird to stick up for myself in that sort of an environment!