In a nutshell, it's this: I'm afraid to ride horses.
With over 15 years of riding experience, you'd think I'd be over that.
Suffice it to say that I found myself in a situation where I have learned that I don't know much more than I do know, and that of the things I did know, about half were wrong. I learned how very very easy it is to hurt horses. Because of that, I became stiff and unsure and began to hurt myself as well. Of course, then I had several bad experiences with horses, which led to the fear which I shamefully acknowledge within myself... and apparently on the internet superhighway.
But today I rode my horse. I did the very most basic riding lesson you can possibly do with the horsing program that I trust more than any other. And you know what? It was fun. I felt good, just doing that simple lesson. I'm excited to expand my abilities. I intend to expand my riding and groundwork abilities at a level at which I am comfortable. Sometimes, that will even be slower than what my horse is comfortable with. And I like horsing enough to start over from almost square one.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Last Night's Dream
Jules, you were in it. You got to be in the cool place. But somehow, even it was still scary.
Let me go back to the beginning.
Actually, it was a dream, so I don't think it started at the beginning, but I'll start where I remember.
So, I lived in a house. Not a house. A House. It was a facility of some kind, where everyone is kept innocent and stupid and ignorant of the fact that they are actually prisoners. The head lady in charge was... interesting. She reminded me a little of Polgara from the Belgariad: she was quite strict, but friendly. Of course, don't cross her. She could get very angry very fast, and bad things would happen if you made her angry. The difference between her and Polgara was that this lady did not have your best interests at heart. The facility itself reminded me a little of the facility from The Island- that movie where people are grown to be incubators for internal organs and such. *shiver*
Anyway, Jules, I discovered a secret door that led through a forest to this wonderful land where you lived. I never actually got to go inside your land, but you and I would meet and play in the forest, and it was the best time of my life. You were quite innocent, too, but it was because you'd never seen a place as evil as the place where I lived.
The head lady in charge discovered that I was sneaking out, and that Jules was the reason for it. She took simple measures to stop that from happening. She gave me a strict talking-to and then put a mechanism on the pathway to confuse any who tried to walk there. It would turn them around, and make them think they were going the way they wanted to go, when in all reality they were going the other way.
I overheard her talking about what her mechanism would do (I'm pretty sure it involved magic of some kind) and became afraid. I started to have an idea that the place I lived was actually evil. So, I left. I wanted to warn my friend Jules anyway. I hadn't seen her in several days, and I'm sure it was because of the mechanism. I walked out my secret door, headed up the pathway, got halfway there and realized I was headed in the wrong direction and almost back to where I had started! Then I looked around me carefully and realized that part of this mechanism was surely the mirror that was in the path. I turned around, got my bearings, and realized that if I looked above the mirror, to the color of the sky up past the mountains, I could follow that and not get lost. I had to focus on that sky the whole way there. When I finally arrived, it turned out that Jules' land was a mixture of a creepy carnival and Wonderland. There was an angry door that didn't want to let me through to go into the land. I touched it, it folded in half, did a somersault, and landed on the floor as a human jester. At that point, things were happier, but I was confused, having never seen anything quite like this place before.
And then I woke up. I never actually found you, Jules, and I woke up in the middle of the night feeling strangely traumatized. But then, this morning, I realized that my dream might actually be on par with some of yours, so I thought I would share.
Let me go back to the beginning.
Actually, it was a dream, so I don't think it started at the beginning, but I'll start where I remember.
So, I lived in a house. Not a house. A House. It was a facility of some kind, where everyone is kept innocent and stupid and ignorant of the fact that they are actually prisoners. The head lady in charge was... interesting. She reminded me a little of Polgara from the Belgariad: she was quite strict, but friendly. Of course, don't cross her. She could get very angry very fast, and bad things would happen if you made her angry. The difference between her and Polgara was that this lady did not have your best interests at heart. The facility itself reminded me a little of the facility from The Island- that movie where people are grown to be incubators for internal organs and such. *shiver*
Anyway, Jules, I discovered a secret door that led through a forest to this wonderful land where you lived. I never actually got to go inside your land, but you and I would meet and play in the forest, and it was the best time of my life. You were quite innocent, too, but it was because you'd never seen a place as evil as the place where I lived.
The head lady in charge discovered that I was sneaking out, and that Jules was the reason for it. She took simple measures to stop that from happening. She gave me a strict talking-to and then put a mechanism on the pathway to confuse any who tried to walk there. It would turn them around, and make them think they were going the way they wanted to go, when in all reality they were going the other way.
I overheard her talking about what her mechanism would do (I'm pretty sure it involved magic of some kind) and became afraid. I started to have an idea that the place I lived was actually evil. So, I left. I wanted to warn my friend Jules anyway. I hadn't seen her in several days, and I'm sure it was because of the mechanism. I walked out my secret door, headed up the pathway, got halfway there and realized I was headed in the wrong direction and almost back to where I had started! Then I looked around me carefully and realized that part of this mechanism was surely the mirror that was in the path. I turned around, got my bearings, and realized that if I looked above the mirror, to the color of the sky up past the mountains, I could follow that and not get lost. I had to focus on that sky the whole way there. When I finally arrived, it turned out that Jules' land was a mixture of a creepy carnival and Wonderland. There was an angry door that didn't want to let me through to go into the land. I touched it, it folded in half, did a somersault, and landed on the floor as a human jester. At that point, things were happier, but I was confused, having never seen anything quite like this place before.
And then I woke up. I never actually found you, Jules, and I woke up in the middle of the night feeling strangely traumatized. But then, this morning, I realized that my dream might actually be on par with some of yours, so I thought I would share.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Biggest Thing in Life
Right now, it's the heat. Oppressive is what it is. Disgusting. Sunshiny. Nauseating. Sticky. Summer's good and all, but enough already! Blech! Give me fall colors and sweater weather any day.
Anyway, just thought I'd share.
Cheers!
Anyway, just thought I'd share.
Cheers!
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