Unschooling is this amazing concept of child-led learning. There are posts all over the internet about it, so I won't go into a ton of detail about what it is other than this little paragraph:
Unschooling looks different in every family. Some families go on a nature walk every day. Some read a history book and then re-create it in Minecraft. Some kids read at age 4. Some don't read until they're 11. Some teenagers take classes to further develop their skills or to prepare for college. Others dive into volunteering or start their own businesses. The biggest thing I've found that they all have in common, though, is a focus on the family relationships. Learning is done at a more natural pace, as dictated by the child.*
*I don't believe that Unschooling is the same thing as Unparenting. In the best families, there are reasonable limits and guidelines set for the functioning of every day. The difference is that those limits are less often arbitrary as is often dictated by the school system. It is the pace and, to some extent, the content of the learning that is dictated by the child's interest, not the running of everyday life.
It sounds hokey, to be sure, but here are some things I've learned from being an oldest child in an incredibly intelligent family, and then going on to raise 4 very intelligent children of my own:
1. Learning happens most intently, and most intensely, when it is self-directed.
2. Learning can and should happen every day, in all aspects and seasons of life.
3. When learning is mandated, it sucks the joy out of the process for too high a percentage of people.
4. There are gaps in every education. Every. Single. One.
5. Deep interest in one subject can, and often does, branch out into interest in other subjects.
6. When a person needs to learn information, or a skill, they can find a way to learn it.
7. Relationships, especially strong family relationships, are more important than any degree.
8. When a child feels a deep, trusting bond with a mentor, they are more likely to ask questions.
9. Dragging a child through homework when they are not engaged is a great way to destroy relationships.
10. Children learn as much by example as by any other method. Is learning important to them? Of course! So learn! And then, share your love of learning and the ways in which you are growing! This magical formula will do wonders!
11. My college degree was largely supplementary to the skills I have gained by simply living my life.
Unschooling looks ridiculous on paper. I get that.
But consider this:
We all know the school system is broken. Shattered. Borderline abusive, despite the best efforts and intentions of all those connected to it. It's been in existence for hundreds of years. In those many years, there have been probably hundreds of thousands of teachers who have cared for and taught millions of students. The vast majority of those teachers have cared deeply about their students. In addition, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of politicians who have been doing their very best to shore up the holes inherent in any system. They have funneled programs, initiatives, and money into this system, all with the intent of doing the very best they can for the children.
With all of that time and care and intention and money, the system is still vastly flawed and more closely resembles a prison than an institution of growth.
So, if I'm going to bring my children out of the system to educate them at home, why would I try to replicate the system that has so many more resources than I do and is, inevitably, better equipped to educate my kids than I am by that methodology?
If I'm going to keep them home, it makes a lot of sense to break away from the system entirely and do my very best to support and help my little people to grow into the very best versions of them that they could be, and to do so in the very most loving way possible. That picture very rarely includes forcing a child to sit at a desk or table and crying while they fight with material they are not ready for, either mentally or emotionally.
So, I say, go with the flow! Read them stories, give them dedicated time to write or draw, go on field trips, and answer as many of their questions as you can. Expand your own mind, and invite them to stretch themselves. If we ever dip into the realm of shaming, punishing, or forcing our kids to learn, we're missing the point.
It's all about the growth and the joy. Oh, how I believe that! Learning is all about growth and joy!
