Sunday, August 20, 2017

The Nicest Alarm Ever

We all know the struggle.  That annoying beeping in the morning wrenches you from the cradle of a delicious sleep.  You roll over, slam your hand on the snooze button, and drift back into dreamland for "five more minutes."

Twenty minutes later, you drag yourself out of bed, promising that you'll shower tonight, or tomorrow morning when you'll be able to get up on time.

In an effort to alleviate this problem, we buy music alarm clocks, or alarms that don't shut off until you shoot the target across the room, or weight-activated alarm mats... have you guys seen these awesome variations online?  They're awesome.

Mostly, I've given up on getting up at any specific time.  I'm a SAHM.  I can do that.  My kids wake me up for the important stuff- like, "Stop it!  Stop touching me!  Mom, my two-year-old brother who loves me to pieces is breathing my air!"

But, there are those occasional mornings when I do need an alarm.  And so, knowing that I'll ignore it most of the time, I dutifully set the alarm on my phone.  I set it to ring with a quiet, gentle tone that will, hopefully, ease me out of the bliss of sleep.

The song starts quietly, building slowly to full volume- which is set to be at about half of the volume at which I normally listen to music.  (Have I mentioned I'm not a morning person?)

Then, the music stops, interrupted by a calming, soothing voice.  "It's 8 am," she says.

Thank you for the information.  I appreciate it.

The music continues.  I mostly ignore it, except I know what's coming.  My inner grammar nazi claws its way through the haze of sleep, eager to avoid the travesty that's about to occur.

A minute later, the music stops again.  Again, that soothing voice, "It's 8-1 am," she informs me politely.  Not 8:01.  Not even eight-zero-one.  "It's 8-1 am."

Gaaaahhhhh!

Stop the madness!

The rest of me jolts awake.  I scramble for the button that will turn off my phone.  It's not that it's annoying... it's just so very very wrong!  And so, I am pulled out of sleep by a deep-seated need to right my world for the day.

It works every time.

I haven't made it past 8-2 am.