We're going green.
Or, rather, we're going blue.
Let me explain.
No, take too long. Let me sum up. (50 points if you can name that movie!)
(My husband just got 50 points. I'm so very proud.)
Several months ago, we got two extra trash cans on our property. As is appropriate, the one for yard waste is green. It makes sense, and is aesthetically pleasing when you put the lawn clippings inside.
That leaves only one other logical color for the recycling bin- blue. It also makes sense; last time I checked, 70% of the world was ocean, which makes it, very pleasingly, blue. Unless, of course, we overrun the ocean with our factories and sludge, in which case the oceans will apparently turn brown.
We, of course, are now recycling, so the ocean won't turn brown on our account. :)
All of this leaves me with a problem. You see, when I go to put our excess newspapers and unused coupons in the recycling bin, I pat myself on the back and think, "We're totally going green!" Of course, at that point, I put our excess newspapers and unused coupons in the green trash can. They slowly float to the bottom, nestle in amongst the sad leftover grass clippings from last summer, and taunt me because I can't reach them.
Then, I slap myself on the forehead and scold myself. "Blue! We're going BLUE, not green. Stupid, freched, sldisjhaosdkjeoskdl..." The neighbors, who have been alerted by my shouting and are anticipating a show, peek out their windows to see me trying to jump in the garbage can to retrieve the offending papers. Then, because the garbage can is on wheels, it tips over, with me stuck inside, legs hanging out the top, as the lid slams down and smacks me in the behind. Success! I can reach the papers. I do so, and slowly crawl back out of the garbage can, trying in vain to brush the grass bits from my hair and clothes. I leave the can laying on the ground. Stupid garbage can. It has no business being green. Finally, I can drop the papers in the blue recycle bin, where they belong.
Because we live on a blue planet. Not green.
Definitely not green.
Stupid garbage cans.
