Square Cheese

It's also known as fake cheese, plastic cheese, and American Cheese. I've always called it Square Cheese, because that's what it looked like to me. It came in pre-packaged squares of yumminess. It's smooth, creamy, and has a delicious flavor.

There is, of course, only one correct way to eat square cheese. One must fold it in half, fold it in half again, and then fold it in half again. At this point, the cheese will be in small rectangles. If one is feeling ambitious, one can separate the pile of little cheese rectangles into two piles and fold it in half yet again. It is, however, acceptable to eat in the rectangular form. However, each individual rectangle or square must be eaten separately. It must be slipped onto the tongue, savored, and then either chewed or allowed to melt. Chewing is generally the preferred method.

Schprid, I am happy to report, has realized the importance of eating square cheese in this manner. While she doesn't always get the folding right, she does make sure to tear little pieces off the whole and eat them one at a time. She's such a good girl.