Summer cries. Its tears stream down in late afternoon temper tantrums, spending the last of its scorching energy.
Then it fades.
The world settles.
The sun rises lower in the sky.
Ever so slowly, the seasons change.
A leaf begins to die, turning a lively yellow, saluting the sun.
Whole mountains turn red, and a chill moves perceptibly down into the earth.
Darkness becomes a blanket, a presence, a whole world of stars and breath and prayer.
Creatures begin to hide in thicker coats and deeper homes and hoarded food.
In a last farewell, the land covers itself in crimson, gold, and copper.
And, with a last breath and sigh, the summer fades.
Softly, ever so softly, Autumn falls.
With snow, and spices,
the world settles.
It sleeps.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Facebook Official
Last week, we scheduled our first lesson for Bridle Ranch.
Last night, I bought file boxes.
This afternoon, I designed our website.
Then, I created our facebook page.
That's right, friends. Bridle Ranch is official. It's on facebook.
Bridle Ranch Website
Bridle Ranch Facebook Page
It's rough. But it's a beginning.
Like us. Share us. Tell your friends. And come play!
Last night, I bought file boxes.
This afternoon, I designed our website.
Then, I created our facebook page.
That's right, friends. Bridle Ranch is official. It's on facebook.
Bridle Ranch Website
Bridle Ranch Facebook Page
It's rough. But it's a beginning.
Like us. Share us. Tell your friends. And come play!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
I'm Baaaaaack!*
Hello, everybody!
How's your summer been? I hope you've been on lots of fun trips, and gone camping, and soaked in swimming pools and stuff. You deserve it.
We've had a crazy crazy crazy crazy summer. Here's a quick recap:
2 working parents
2 kids
2 cats
2 horses (Yes, we got a second one at the beginning of the summer. His name is Snip. He's cool.)
1 car
and...
2 babysitters.
All of which equals:
a dirty house
a dead lawn
two dead bike tires
a couple of exhausted parents
persisting 3-year-old prayers that Mommy not go to work
one temper tantrum telling Mommy to go back to work
a diploma
a new dining set (I now have the coolest table ever!)
and a "condolences in this time of sorrow" card given to me at my graduation. (It was pretty funny. I laughed.)
I did learn a few things while I was up there. I learned that I don't work well with people with cognitive disabilities. I learned that I'm absolutely terrified of high ropes courses. I learned that I really really really appreciate organization and consistency. I learned that one can get culture shock only an hour away from home. I learned how to better deal with difficult situations and difficult people. I learned more about how to have patience and be calm.
It was, overall a very good experience. It was a huge juggling act, trying to balance 30-40 hours of work a week, 10 hours of driving time, a house, two kids who suddenly don't have parents, a teenager out of the house for the first time, an exhausted husband, an exhausted me, and four animals, not to mention the fact that the work was a huge learning experience for me. Still, like I said, I learned a lot. I can't even articulate most of what I learned, because so much of it was simply the experience of being there and of coming to peace with myself in a new environment with a new population.
Can I tell you what I did, though? For my senior project, I created a training manual template for the company. Basically, they have several different programs up there, but each one is run in its own little way, without much of a sense of cohesion between them. I created a template that each program supervisor will just have to fill in the blanks to complete, and voila! Questions answered, all information covered appropriately, and a sense of cohesion built throughout the company. I was pretty pleased with the results. I'm curious to see if my efforts will actually help them.
So, for the past few weeks, I've been putting my house back together, harvesting our garden, cramming all the fun we should have had over the summer into a few brief hours over the weekends, and working on starting a business. (More to come on that later!)
Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't blogged very much lately. Blogging fell off my list of priorities for awhile. Truthfully, I'm not sure how much time I'll have for it in the next few months, either, but I will try. In the meantime, keep watching for updates on facebook. We're getting a website set up! It'll be awesome.
See you all soon!
*Rachel, this post was instigated by you. Thanks for facebooking me!
How's your summer been? I hope you've been on lots of fun trips, and gone camping, and soaked in swimming pools and stuff. You deserve it.
We've had a crazy crazy crazy crazy summer. Here's a quick recap:
2 working parents
2 kids
2 cats
2 horses (Yes, we got a second one at the beginning of the summer. His name is Snip. He's cool.)
1 car
and...
2 babysitters.
All of which equals:
a dirty house
a dead lawn
two dead bike tires
a couple of exhausted parents
persisting 3-year-old prayers that Mommy not go to work
one temper tantrum telling Mommy to go back to work
a diploma
a new dining set (I now have the coolest table ever!)
and a "condolences in this time of sorrow" card given to me at my graduation. (It was pretty funny. I laughed.)
I did learn a few things while I was up there. I learned that I don't work well with people with cognitive disabilities. I learned that I'm absolutely terrified of high ropes courses. I learned that I really really really appreciate organization and consistency. I learned that one can get culture shock only an hour away from home. I learned how to better deal with difficult situations and difficult people. I learned more about how to have patience and be calm.
It was, overall a very good experience. It was a huge juggling act, trying to balance 30-40 hours of work a week, 10 hours of driving time, a house, two kids who suddenly don't have parents, a teenager out of the house for the first time, an exhausted husband, an exhausted me, and four animals, not to mention the fact that the work was a huge learning experience for me. Still, like I said, I learned a lot. I can't even articulate most of what I learned, because so much of it was simply the experience of being there and of coming to peace with myself in a new environment with a new population.
Can I tell you what I did, though? For my senior project, I created a training manual template for the company. Basically, they have several different programs up there, but each one is run in its own little way, without much of a sense of cohesion between them. I created a template that each program supervisor will just have to fill in the blanks to complete, and voila! Questions answered, all information covered appropriately, and a sense of cohesion built throughout the company. I was pretty pleased with the results. I'm curious to see if my efforts will actually help them.
So, for the past few weeks, I've been putting my house back together, harvesting our garden, cramming all the fun we should have had over the summer into a few brief hours over the weekends, and working on starting a business. (More to come on that later!)
Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't blogged very much lately. Blogging fell off my list of priorities for awhile. Truthfully, I'm not sure how much time I'll have for it in the next few months, either, but I will try. In the meantime, keep watching for updates on facebook. We're getting a website set up! It'll be awesome.
See you all soon!
*Rachel, this post was instigated by you. Thanks for facebooking me!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Internship
Hey!
Did I ever tell you that I got my internship? The one I applied for back in February?
I did. I got it. It's going to be awesome. I'm going to be working with horses and ropes courses and skiing and bike riding and people with disabilities all summer.
Yeah, it's awesome.
And, it starts tomorrow. It goes until August 30th. And it will be crazy/busy/awesome.
And, I just wanted to let you know, in case I'm completely awol for the next 3 months, it's because I'm learning to be crazy/busy/awesome.
Wish me luck!
Also, send blessings and prayers to all the people who are helping me to do this, because seriously, they're all amazing.
Hugs!
Did I ever tell you that I got my internship? The one I applied for back in February?
I did. I got it. It's going to be awesome. I'm going to be working with horses and ropes courses and skiing and bike riding and people with disabilities all summer.
Yeah, it's awesome.
And, it starts tomorrow. It goes until August 30th. And it will be crazy/busy/awesome.
And, I just wanted to let you know, in case I'm completely awol for the next 3 months, it's because I'm learning to be crazy/busy/awesome.
Wish me luck!
Also, send blessings and prayers to all the people who are helping me to do this, because seriously, they're all amazing.
Hugs!
Sunday, May 20, 2012
An Interesting Discovery
*Please disregard any typos, repeats, or things that don't make sense in this particular blog entry. I've been sick for days, and about 5 minutes ago I took some NyQuil to help me sleep tonight.
So there I was, with permission to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I also had the guidance of the Gospel. And, as circumstance would have it, I discovered a fascination with whole grains.
I don't know about you, but "whole grains" in my mind generally translates to "whole wheat" or, occasionally, "oatmeal." I figured there had to be more out there, and I wanted to discover possibilities. I went to Good Earth and bought some quinoa, a couple different types of rice, and some oat bran. I enjoyed them all. Quinoa, in particular, has a fun texture. Plus, I really enjoyed making muffins from scratch using the oat bran. Yummy stuff!
*Ooh... the NyQuil's starting to take effect.
Of course, I also ate a lot of wheat products. After all, the stuff is everywhere. Ev-er-y-where. I mean, there are very few recipes, and probably even fewer boxed foods, that don't contain white flour. Which, of course, is made from wheat flour. This translates to eating wheat almost every single meal of almost every single day of my life.
But that's not a big deal, right? Except for the argument that everything's over-processed and "the whiter the bread the sooner you're dead" which I've heard all my life, wheat flour is still pretty healthy. Get whole wheat flour and make your bread yourself, and you're among the healthy elite.
Except that I was paying attention to my body. For the first time in my life, I was paying attention to how my body felt before and after eating. You know what I discovered?
I know. The buildup is killing you.
My body doesn't like wheat. Wheat turns my stomach to knots and inhibits digestion. Usually, the knots aren't awful. Usually, the guilt of eating outweighed the discomfort in my midsection, and I would just bemoan the fact that, once again, I'd eaten too much, or the wrong food, or put too much butter on my bread.
Once I let go of the guilt and the...
*Huh. That's some powerful stuff.
What was I saying? Oh yeah. Guilt. Once I let go of the guilt and the fear that, for me, surrounded the food, I was able to actually listen to my body and to what it was telling me. I think it's a significant step towards a beautiful relationship with this body I've been riding around in for 29 years.
Long story short, I stopped eating wheat. I stopped eating white flour. I dove into oatmeal and oat bran and rice flour instead.
So far, it's only been a week. Two? One and a half. Ish. But within an hour or two of every meal, I feel the difference. My body feels cleaner. I feel stronger, and healthier, and even more able to think. My digestion has improved, and even my hips don't hurt as much.
*Is anybody else's room spinning?
For most people, eating wheat is probably a good thing. For me, it's not. But I like feeling freer and stronger and knowing that my body is working as it should. That outweighs the need to change my diet. And while I am changing my diet, I could start eating wheat products again if I wanted to. The point is, I don't want to. I like the feeling, now, of having my body working. I may lose weight. I may not. Right now, I don't really care. Right now, I'm eating for a healthy body right now.
And that feels good.
*Also, I need to go to bed now.
So there I was, with permission to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I also had the guidance of the Gospel. And, as circumstance would have it, I discovered a fascination with whole grains.
I don't know about you, but "whole grains" in my mind generally translates to "whole wheat" or, occasionally, "oatmeal." I figured there had to be more out there, and I wanted to discover possibilities. I went to Good Earth and bought some quinoa, a couple different types of rice, and some oat bran. I enjoyed them all. Quinoa, in particular, has a fun texture. Plus, I really enjoyed making muffins from scratch using the oat bran. Yummy stuff!
*Ooh... the NyQuil's starting to take effect.
Of course, I also ate a lot of wheat products. After all, the stuff is everywhere. Ev-er-y-where. I mean, there are very few recipes, and probably even fewer boxed foods, that don't contain white flour. Which, of course, is made from wheat flour. This translates to eating wheat almost every single meal of almost every single day of my life.
But that's not a big deal, right? Except for the argument that everything's over-processed and "the whiter the bread the sooner you're dead" which I've heard all my life, wheat flour is still pretty healthy. Get whole wheat flour and make your bread yourself, and you're among the healthy elite.
Except that I was paying attention to my body. For the first time in my life, I was paying attention to how my body felt before and after eating. You know what I discovered?
I know. The buildup is killing you.
My body doesn't like wheat. Wheat turns my stomach to knots and inhibits digestion. Usually, the knots aren't awful. Usually, the guilt of eating outweighed the discomfort in my midsection, and I would just bemoan the fact that, once again, I'd eaten too much, or the wrong food, or put too much butter on my bread.
Once I let go of the guilt and the...
*Huh. That's some powerful stuff.
What was I saying? Oh yeah. Guilt. Once I let go of the guilt and the fear that, for me, surrounded the food, I was able to actually listen to my body and to what it was telling me. I think it's a significant step towards a beautiful relationship with this body I've been riding around in for 29 years.
Long story short, I stopped eating wheat. I stopped eating white flour. I dove into oatmeal and oat bran and rice flour instead.
So far, it's only been a week. Two? One and a half. Ish. But within an hour or two of every meal, I feel the difference. My body feels cleaner. I feel stronger, and healthier, and even more able to think. My digestion has improved, and even my hips don't hurt as much.
*Is anybody else's room spinning?
For most people, eating wheat is probably a good thing. For me, it's not. But I like feeling freer and stronger and knowing that my body is working as it should. That outweighs the need to change my diet. And while I am changing my diet, I could start eating wheat products again if I wanted to. The point is, I don't want to. I like the feeling, now, of having my body working. I may lose weight. I may not. Right now, I don't really care. Right now, I'm eating for a healthy body right now.
And that feels good.
*Also, I need to go to bed now.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
A Gospel Perspective on Eating
I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I believe most, if not all, of my readers are both aware of this and are or have been members themselves. Hence, we all know about the Word of Wisdom.
Generally, it is accepted that we don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or drink coffee or tea. However, a few months ago, I came across an article in the Ensign (the Church's magazine) that details the word of wisdom a bit more in detail. This is what it said:
Eat meat sparingly.
All grain is good.
Don't work too hard.
Get enough sleep.
Sorry. I had to repeat that to myself. It's so simple! Given that there are so many views on eating out there, it was nice to read something from a very reputable source that was so simple.
Of course, there are so many other things that I have learned over the years: Don't eat fats and oils. Don't eat carbs. Processed food is bad. Salt is bad. Sugar is bad. Dairy is bad. Calories are bad. Please eat only vegetables and this fake sweetener and spend 6 hours a day at the gym so you can look like Jillian Michaels.
At my most fit, when I was walking at my job approximately 25 hours a week (including mucking out stalls and riding horses) and exercising 2-3 hours on my days off, and counting calories each day, I got down to a size 10. I was still 5 pounds over my goal weight. Don't get me wrong- I enjoyed looking in the mirror! For the first time in my life, I enjoyed buying clothes. Of course, then I got pregnant, and that lifestyle was no longer a possibility.
But, oh, I so wanted to be skinny! I wanted to stop hating my body! Geneen Roth gave me some of the tools to achieve that end, but I was tired of guessing. Was this just another thing to try but that, in the end, wouldn't get me what I wanted?
So, I prayed. I spent all of General Conference weekend praying about it. My answer?
"Eat what you're supposed to, and don't worry about it so much."
Oh.
So, follow those simple steps outlined in the Word of Wisdom, and recognize that my waist size doesn't matter in the eternities? Simple, but oh-so-hard!
In subsequent weeks, I've been trying to do just that. Have you seen Beauty Redefined? They're on facebook. They also have billboards up in my neck of the woods. Their goal is to help women see themselves as more than things to be looked at. They are trying to combat the harmful messages so prevalent in the media. They are helpful, but it is so difficult to get past the beliefs, so central to my being, that my body is too big.
How do you feel about your body? Do you love yourself, body and all? Do you struggle with liking the person you are inside your body?
How do you eat? Do you subscribe to a particular diet plan? Do you listen to your body when you eat, when you're hungry, when you're full? Are you happy with eating?
I'd love to hear your input on this!
Generally, it is accepted that we don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or drink coffee or tea. However, a few months ago, I came across an article in the Ensign (the Church's magazine) that details the word of wisdom a bit more in detail. This is what it said:
- Fruits, vegetables, and wholesome herbs are to be used “in the season thereof” and “with prudence and thanksgiving” (see D&C 89:10–11).
- Meat and poultry have been “ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly” (D&C 89:12).
- “All grain is good for the food of man” (D&C 89:16).
- We should not “labor more than [we] have strength” (D&C 10:4).
- We should develop proper sleeping habits so “[our] bodies and [our] minds may be invigorated” (D&C 88:124).
There you have it. Plain and simple. Eat fruits and vegetables in their season. Eat meat, but do so sparingly. All grain is good. Those are straight from the passage that talks about the Word of Wisdom. The others, don't work more than you have strength and get enough sleep, are found elsewhere but, I think, equally important.
Eat meat sparingly.
All grain is good.
Don't work too hard.
Get enough sleep.
Sorry. I had to repeat that to myself. It's so simple! Given that there are so many views on eating out there, it was nice to read something from a very reputable source that was so simple.
Of course, there are so many other things that I have learned over the years: Don't eat fats and oils. Don't eat carbs. Processed food is bad. Salt is bad. Sugar is bad. Dairy is bad. Calories are bad. Please eat only vegetables and this fake sweetener and spend 6 hours a day at the gym so you can look like Jillian Michaels.
At my most fit, when I was walking at my job approximately 25 hours a week (including mucking out stalls and riding horses) and exercising 2-3 hours on my days off, and counting calories each day, I got down to a size 10. I was still 5 pounds over my goal weight. Don't get me wrong- I enjoyed looking in the mirror! For the first time in my life, I enjoyed buying clothes. Of course, then I got pregnant, and that lifestyle was no longer a possibility.
But, oh, I so wanted to be skinny! I wanted to stop hating my body! Geneen Roth gave me some of the tools to achieve that end, but I was tired of guessing. Was this just another thing to try but that, in the end, wouldn't get me what I wanted?
So, I prayed. I spent all of General Conference weekend praying about it. My answer?
"Eat what you're supposed to, and don't worry about it so much."
Oh.
So, follow those simple steps outlined in the Word of Wisdom, and recognize that my waist size doesn't matter in the eternities? Simple, but oh-so-hard!
In subsequent weeks, I've been trying to do just that. Have you seen Beauty Redefined? They're on facebook. They also have billboards up in my neck of the woods. Their goal is to help women see themselves as more than things to be looked at. They are trying to combat the harmful messages so prevalent in the media. They are helpful, but it is so difficult to get past the beliefs, so central to my being, that my body is too big.
How do you feel about your body? Do you love yourself, body and all? Do you struggle with liking the person you are inside your body?
How do you eat? Do you subscribe to a particular diet plan? Do you listen to your body when you eat, when you're hungry, when you're full? Are you happy with eating?
I'd love to hear your input on this!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The First While
I made Oreo truffles. They're amazing. You blend up Oreos (Or mint oreos, or double stuf, or peanut butter...) and mix them with cream cheese. You form them into balls, and dip them in melted chocolate. Let them sit and, voila! Oh, the yumminess!
I ate those for breakfast a couple of mornings. They were fabulous, and I enjoyed every bite. Then, when I was done, I was really done. I haven't really had the desire to make them, since.
You know the best thing about it? I haven't wanted any. I ate them, and now I'm not fighting with myself and trying to resign myself to never being able to eat those, because my hips can't take it. No, I ate them until I was done, and then I moved on.
In the weeks since, I have come to realize that I fear hunger. I also fear feeling full. You see, if I feel hungry, it means that soon I'm going to lose control and eat too much of the wrong things. If I feel full, it is because I ate too much, period, and the guilt will soon be taking up residence on my shoulders. Both of them. Because we all know the guilt of eating is a back-bowing heaviness that settles on our hips and bellies and under our arms.
Are you afraid of hunger? Are you afraid of fulness?
I'm trying to overcome that.
I am a person. I am a beautiful, wonderful person. I am strong in many ways. I work hard to be kind, to be smart, to do the best I know how to do. I will never be stick-skinny, and I will probably never wear size 2s. My body is beautiful. It is unique. It houses the essence of who I am and deserves all my love. And, as I learn to love myself more, I increase the ability I have to love others.
I've decided that the clothes manufacturers are wrong. I'm not too fat; they're too skinny. (It's a step, and if it's not in the right direction, at least it's in a different direction. I'm experimenting, here.)
When I'm hungry, it means I'm alive, and I get to sustain that life and nourish it. When I'm full, it means I've cared for myself and given my body something it needs. Every sensation, I think, is in some way a celebration of life and all that it means.
Bring on the truffles, and the corn on the cob, and the bread, and the sugar, and the apples, and the love.
I ate those for breakfast a couple of mornings. They were fabulous, and I enjoyed every bite. Then, when I was done, I was really done. I haven't really had the desire to make them, since.
You know the best thing about it? I haven't wanted any. I ate them, and now I'm not fighting with myself and trying to resign myself to never being able to eat those, because my hips can't take it. No, I ate them until I was done, and then I moved on.
In the weeks since, I have come to realize that I fear hunger. I also fear feeling full. You see, if I feel hungry, it means that soon I'm going to lose control and eat too much of the wrong things. If I feel full, it is because I ate too much, period, and the guilt will soon be taking up residence on my shoulders. Both of them. Because we all know the guilt of eating is a back-bowing heaviness that settles on our hips and bellies and under our arms.
Are you afraid of hunger? Are you afraid of fulness?
I'm trying to overcome that.
I am a person. I am a beautiful, wonderful person. I am strong in many ways. I work hard to be kind, to be smart, to do the best I know how to do. I will never be stick-skinny, and I will probably never wear size 2s. My body is beautiful. It is unique. It houses the essence of who I am and deserves all my love. And, as I learn to love myself more, I increase the ability I have to love others.
I've decided that the clothes manufacturers are wrong. I'm not too fat; they're too skinny. (It's a step, and if it's not in the right direction, at least it's in a different direction. I'm experimenting, here.)
When I'm hungry, it means I'm alive, and I get to sustain that life and nourish it. When I'm full, it means I've cared for myself and given my body something it needs. Every sensation, I think, is in some way a celebration of life and all that it means.
Bring on the truffles, and the corn on the cob, and the bread, and the sugar, and the apples, and the love.
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